The inner child healing part of the journey is definitely not a new concept. It is a vital part of becoming self actualized, peaceful and authentically transparent. When we still have an sad inner child and an ego trying to protect that child it is difficult to have clear, honest, open communication with ourself and others. It is very difficult to access intuition and our higher mind that contains our wisdom and intelligence while still operating from fear, survival and protection mode. From the fight or flight default.
I have come to realize that the ego is the guardian of the scared inner child. Any attention is better than no attention. I have given mine a task to kind only things that are for my highest good. It works to a certain degree, then a shift is needed into integration of that aspect of yourself. I often allow myself to play like a child doing crafts, or painting, or whatever it may be I wish to do. Eliminating or killing the ego is such a harsh thing to say it is in fact a piece of yourself. Embrace your inner child/ego and make friends with it. Little you is looking for is your love ….Integration of the higher self, emotion self, lower mental self, ego, and your human self is a great start for lasting peace.
This is a great video a client found while doing some of his own research. We had been working on Self Parenting his inner child. He brought this Wu Wei Wisdom teaching back into my awareness.
I have added this Matt Kahn inner child video in a previous article I wrote. It was very helpful to me in the beginning of my inner child journey.
Inner child wounds can definitely come out as things that “trigger” you. Physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse as a child can lead to people pleasing, anger and rage, depression, deep sadness, codependent behaviors, addiction of all kinds like use of food for soothing emotions, alcohol or drugs for avoiding the reality of pain and trauma, shopping and even being a workaholic to avoid personal reality. This can also be seen as running behavior, always moving or continuous avoidance. Extreme busy-ness in projects, activities and the mind. Not a single person on this planet can tell anyone anything about what you experienced as a child. No one really knows what goes on in another persons mind. No one knows the inner dialogue or torture the ego is putting a person through. Simply telling someone to observe their mind, practice mindfulness, the list goes on, these are not enough to sooth the ego. Many people struggle with meditation, stopping the mind, letting go…sometimes, it’s just not that easy.
This can be a very painful process to help free your mind and inner child. It is a full time job to stop the incessant battery we experience from the egoic mind. The ego is useful to keep us alive, but at some point its protection behavior steps beyond the necessary and becomes excessive, even torturous. It keeps us safe, but it can also seriously prohibit or inhibit personal development.
Gaslighting is not only an abusive spouse thing, this is also something that parents can do to their children. We don’t want to believe that a parent is doing this, we are so torn by our genetic love for a mother or father, we often don’t even see it. We don’t want to have to eliminate a parent from our life. I found this article that really sums up gaslighting from parents.
Inner child work is the most beneficial to do one-on-one. In a group setting you will see the barriers of protection go up, maybe see egos coming out to play. This is one area working alone and with a guide can be quite helpful. Cry, scream, get angry. An unhealed inner child is often what you see from people who are doing some kind of spiritual bypassing, operating solely from ego and self importance, ultimately separation – first in how they see themselves and also their internal world. This work begins and continues through masculine, feminine and child integration within. The personal trinity, the child is the keeper of your highest potential, your wisdom, your peacefulness and expansion. Without this vision it’s like living in a little tiny bubble that you cannot escape.
There are a few more potential self healing resources below.
A bit more about childhood trauma and what it can look like. I have really found the work of @the.holistic.psychologist on Instagram quite a profound tool for healing and being able to see my own personal experience from childhood.
Recently, I have also come across another good opportunity for some to do some different inner child work. Depending on what you are looking to work with more of your inner child, and your personal experience. The Crappy Childhood Fairy has a free online course you may be interested in.
This meditation is a welcome addition for assisting to heal your inner child.
Thank you for being here. Let’s do some “shadow work”! Jenn